Desperation
by Esca-lover
Summary: COMPLETED! RE-EDITED! Closing Notes Up! AU: Hitomi is filled with saddness and indecision...is life really worth living? Or will she give in to her fears? One rainy day will change her life forever...RR!
1. Desperate for Answers

Hey everyone!!  Esca-lover here…I know, long time no see, right?  Well, rejoice!  I'm back!  My Internet is finally up and running again, and all of my story information was not lost like I had previously thought!  I do apologize for such lengthy gaps in my writing.  Fortunately, I now have time to get back on track!  YIPPIE!  

I know what you're thinking…oh no, she started another story?!  YES!  I DID!  But guess what…it's already finished!!  *everyone dies of shock*  That's right folks, this little ficcie started off being a one shot, but I decided to break it into three parts.  ALL PARTS ARE WRITTEN AND COMPLETED!  For your enjoyment I will post a new part every other day.  This angst-riddled story came into being as a result of pent up frustrations with life…I'm sure you'll catch on right away.  How will it end?  What characters will appear?  You'll have to wait and see!!

This fan fiction is dedicated to all my loyal, crazy-awesome fan-fic reviewers!  Hope you like it…did I mention it's finished??? ::giggles::  

***Esca-lover

p.s.  All of the bold, underlined words are song lyrics, and all of the bold words are previous conversations.  Check my closing notes for disclaimers!

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It had rained for five days straight.  The weather tugged on everyone's soul, bringing him or her into a state of dismal brooding and despair.  A wet and gray summer had left the world wanting, and a soggy autumn promised little.  For Hitomi, it was more then she could tolerate.  

**Everything's so blurry,**

**Everyone's so fake…**

She had given up on the dream of reinventing herself at college…again.  Her junior year had been unbearable, full of emotional dilemmas and academic nightmares.  Now a senior, she found new terrors consuming her mind.  Was she doing the right thing?  Would she be able to find employment upon graduation?  How was she supposed to pay off her student loans?  With no current boyfriend, would she ever find love?  Would she ever be truly happy?  While all these thoughts echoed through her brain, one fear spoke louder then the rest: Was life really worth living?

"Not for me," Hitomi answered aloud before taking a long drag on her cigarette.  She coughed violently, her body still adjusting to the new habit.  The twenty-one year old was standing on the roof of her apartment building, staring out at the setting sun.  The rain had finally ceased, but a light mist still remained.  Wisps of sandy-blonde hair clung to her ashen face as the moisture chilled her body.  She shuddered despite the long, heavy jacket draped on her shoulders.

"Sometimes livin'…takes the life out of you," she sighed, remembering a song she had heard on the radio years ago.  She laughed bitterly at the irony of the lyrics as a single tear rolled down her cheek.  The girl stepped slowly to the edge of the building and peered downward.  What was stopping her from ending it all?  Just one step farther and it'd all be over.  No more pain; no more sorrow or loneliness.  Death would be a sweet embrace compared to the hell of daily life…

**Everybody's empty,**

**And everything is so messed up…**

Suddenly, thoughts of her family surfaced.  Would they miss her?  Yes, of course they would, she resolved mentally.  Her parents had always been loving, supportive, and kind.  Hitomi's mind drifted to a phone conversation she had had with her mother earlier that month.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

** "Now remember sweetheart, just do your best.  This is your senior year!  I'm sure you'll make us proud."**

**"I know mom…but what if-"**

**"No buts, 'Tomi.  I know last year was tough on you, but you'll recover, I promise.  This next year is like a clean slate, ya know?  Hey!  Maybe you'll finally meet Mr. Right!"**

**"Mom…"**

**"Ok, ok.  You know I'm just teasing.  Listen dear, we all love you very much.  No matter how hard life gets, we'll always be there for you.  Trust your heart.  It takes true courage to make it through these trials.  I believe in you, Hitomi."**

**"…Thanks mom.  I really mean it."**

**"You're welcome darling."**

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

No, she couldn't desert her family.  They needed her, didn't they?  Then again, it was expensive sending her to school.  They could probably use the extra cash…

**I've put my trust in you,**

**Pushed as hard as I can go…**

_"_Crazy," the young woman thought and shook her head.  Even her little brother would choose a sister over money…right?

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** "Kohaku, don't touch my things!!! Geez, you're such a little brat!"**

**"Shut up, Hitomi!  You're not the boss of me."**

**"You put my CD player down now or I'll scream!!  You're gonna break it!"**

**"Oh yeah?  Go ahead scream!  I don't care…I wish you'd just go back to college so things can go back to normal."**

**"…Take it back, Kohaku."**

**"No way.  Life was way more fun without you around.  I wish you'd just go away for forever."**__

_*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *_

Maybe he was right.  Maybe she should go away for forever.  Her friends had abandoned her for people of the opposite sex.  

"Stupid boys," she cursed under her breath before taking another hit on the cigarette.  Was she so unlovable?  Every relationship she had started in college had turned out worse then the last.  From being infatuated with a best friend to being used by a player, Hitomi had had her share of heartache.  In a world where love was everything, she felt totally alone.  The girl wiped burning tears from her eyes, refusing to let them fall.  The emptiness that had gripped her heart for so long only grew colder.  She felt hollow inside.  Nothing mattered anymore.  

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** "What's the matter with you, Hitomi? You seem so sad."**

**"I don't know, Yukari…I guess I'm just going through a rough spot."**

**"For two years?  Come on 'Tomi, I can't remember the last time you had a good laugh…you're smile's gone too.  Is you're life really that horrible?"**

**"…No."**

**"Then what's going on, Hitomi…please.  I'm worried about you."**

**"Kari, do you ever feel like all the work you do is in vain?  Like, in the long run what you're doing isn't significant at all?  I mean…what's the point of living, if death is always the end?"**

**"Wow…umm…I guess I might have felt like that before, but it always passes.  Look at it this way:  we're all alive for a reason.  We might as well do the best we can, right?"**

**"I don't know…it just seems so pointless after a while."**

**"Don't give up yet, 'Tomi.  Things will turn around soon, I promise."**

**"I hope you're right, Yukari.  I hope you're right."**

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 "Looks like you were wrong, Kari…things haven't changed," Hitomi said dryly, flicking her cigarette over the edge of the building.  She watched it fall.  "Things will never change…"

**I tried so hard,**

**And got so far.**

**But in the end,**

**It doesn't really matter…**

The young woman gazed again at the bleary sunset.  Her pallid face revealed a sad smile as she closed her eyes.  Images of her family flashed in her mind…Yukari was there too, smiling and laughing.  They all looked so happy…

**I had to fall,**

**To lose it all.**

**But in the end,**

**It doesn't really matter…**

"Forgive me…" she whispered, and leaned forward into oblivion.  

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 "9-1-1 Emergency Service, please state the nature of your emergency."

"P-p-please!  I was just walking down the steps of my apartment building when I heard a crash…It looks like some girl might have fallen off the roof!  She's just lying there.  What should I do?!"

"Just remain calm, everything will be alright.  Where are you?"

"At the corner of 10th and Broad.  Maple Valley Apartments."

"An ambulance is on its way, thanks for calling in."

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Well???  What did you think?  Please review!!!  All comments and criticism welcome…only two more parts to go!  If anyone knows how to save italics, please let me know!!  This story looks weird with all the bold print…  

Lyrics provided by: "Linkin Park" and "Puddle of Mudd"…I don't own them!

God Bless!!


	2. Reality Strikes

Hello again!!  You thought I was bluffing??  OH NO!  I told you I had this story finished!!  I'm just so happy…

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Thoughts to my Reviewers:

***

**Dariel**- I love you!  I'm so glad you're enjoying this story so far.  I'll try fixing the italics…but I don't know if it'll work, haha.  Thanks anyways!  How are your stories coming?  I can't wait for more chapters from you!  Keep it up hon!

**Paige Moonsword**- Hi hon!  I know…I've been a horrible fan-fic writer…will you please forgive me?  ::sniff::  For some reason college gets harder every year, and this year was no exception.  I hope this chapter/story will make it up to you for now!  My other fics will be completed, make no mistake about that!  It might just take some time.  My goal is to have them both finished by Christmas, but I'm not sure how that'll go…Anyways, thanks for reviewing!  Hope you like the next chappie!

**Sabineballz**- Yay!  It's so good to see you again!  I'm absolutely flattered by your comment, haha.  "So sad and absolutely awesome…"  You're such a sweetie!  I really tried to capture Hitomi's desperation/sadness here…I'm glad it seems to have worked!  I've never really written an angsty story before.  Anyways, I hope you'll enjoy this next chapter!  You'll find out about Van this chapter!  He didn't make the phone call, but…….you'll see!

**Snow Blossoms**- Hello again!  I really appreciate your reviews, hon!  You're so positive and upbeat!  I' m really glad you like this so far!  And your wonderment about Van will be cleared up this chapter!  He's mmm mmmm good!  ::ahem::  Anyways, enjoy this next chapter!  Please review again and tell me what you think!

***

Thank you my four reviewers!  This next chapter is dedicated to you guys!!  Any of you new to my stories?  Feel free to check out "Whispers of the Mind" and "Ink Stained Hands".  I'm partial to the first one, but the second one will have an absolutely adorable ending!  

Alright peeps, enough chattering!  New rules apply: Lyrics are bold, italics!  Check my closing notes for the artists/disclaimers.

Enjoy Everyone!

***Esca-lover

********************* 

Wailing sirens echoed through the city as a small crowd formed on the street corner.  The ambulance raced to a stop in front of the apartment complex, and several paramedics sprung from the rear of the vehicle.  

"Van, you know the drill.  Assess the emergency.  We'll get the equipment," an older medic ordered.  A tall, raven-haired, young man simply nodded and ran over to the unconscious form of a woman with sandy-blonde locks.  He took her wrist and checked for vital signs.

"Pulse is weak, but stable.  Victim is breathing," he shouted.   Van looked over the frail figure.  Her left arm was twisted grotesquely, it's blood staining the girls clothes.  A small gash was found above her right eye and dark, red, liquid oozed from it slowly.  As she lay there, the paramedic couldn't help but feel sadness…he'd seen her kind before…

**_My heart goes out to you,_**

**_You don't even know me,_**

**_You don't even know…_**__

"Victim appears to have a broken left arm, possible concussion," he relayed, snapping back to reality.  Fortunately, the females' body had landed in the hedges surrounding the apartment building.  

"Talk about luck," another medic mumbled, looking upwards.  "That's one heck of a fall."

'He's right,' Van thought to himself.  _'_If those bushes hadn't been there…she'd be dead.'  The two gently lifted the woman's body onto a stretcher and loaded it into the ambulance.  Once everything was secured, the dark-haired man cleaned the girls' wounds and dressed them accordingly.

"She's pretty," his co-worker stated, as they rode back to the hospital.  "Do you think someone pushed her off?  A jealous boyfriend, perhaps?"

"No…I don't think that's it."

"Really?  Then what…she jumped?  Why would a woman like that want to kill herself?"  Van sighed softly, brushing hair out of the victim's eyes.

"I don't know…I just don't know."

***************

Pain.

Throbbing pain…That's all Hitomi felt as she slowly regained consciousness.  'What's going on…am I dead?' she thought to herself.  Her eyes burned as they tried adjusting to the light.  A white ceiling; a stark armchair in the corner; a bed with metal rails.  The girl nearly burst into tears at the realization.  No, she wasn't dead.  She was in a hospital room…she had survived the suicide attempt.

**_I kept everything inside,_**

**_And even though I tried,_**

It all fell apart… 

"God…why won't you just let me die…please…just let me die…" she moaned softly.  New fears flooded her mind.  Her family…how would they take the news?  What would they say to her once they found out?  Would they hate her?  What about counseling?  Would she have to endure countless hours of worthless prodding by an egotistical psychiatrist?  No…anything but that.  She didn't need anyone telling her how screwed up she was; she already knew.       

I tried so hard… 

Tears stained her pillow as Hitomi slowly cried herself to sleep.

***************

Brrrrrrring…..brrrrrrring…..click.

"Hello?"

"May I please speak to a Mr. Kanzaki?"

"Speaking.  How can I help you?"

"Actually sir, this is the city hospital.  I'm afraid you're daughter has been in an accident…"

"What?!?!  What happened?!  Is she alright?  Oh please God…"

"She'll be fine, Mr. Kanzaki.  If you could come to the hospital so we can get your insurance information…"

"Of course.  We'll be there shortly…thank you for calling."

Click.

***************

Hitomi awoke with a tremendous thirst.  She fumbled around, trying to find the nurses pager button.  Within thirty seconds of its detonation, a blonde nurse entered the room with a tray of food in her arms.  

"Hitomi!  You're finally awake.  Are you hungry?  I've brought you some dinner.  I hope you like chicken," the woman chatted cheerfully.  The sleepy patient merely nodded and sat up carefully. 

"I'm assuming I broke this," the girl spoke dryly, gazing at a massive bandage on her left arm.  The nurse gave Hitomi an affirmative answer.

"Yes, unfortunately you also received a slight concussion.  But don't worry.  You'll be back to normal in no time." 'Normal? Ya right,' Hitomi thought to herself.  She took a small bite of food and glanced around the room.  Something was different…

Flowers.  There were flowers everywhere!  Big bouquets of daffodils and orchids; Small bundles of daisies; Carnations, lilacs, chrysanthemums, posies…every color and size flower imaginable.  The girl stopped mid chew and tried to grasp the situation.

"What's going on?  Did I get switched to a different room?"  The friendly nurse shook her head and smiled. 

"No, this is definitely your room."

"But…where did all these flowers come from?"  The blonde woman laughed and sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"They're yours, Hitomi.  People have been bringing them in all night!  I must admit, you're one of our most popular patients."

"What….?!"  The sandy-blonde froze, her mind unable to grasp the situation.  But…how could this happen?  No one loved her…she was all alone in the world…right?  Her green eyes gazed unsteadily with those of her aid. "I…I don't understand…"

"Some of the bouquets have cards with them.  Would you like me to read them to you?"  The nurse said gently.  

"Ok," the girl managed to whisper, tightly clutching her bed sheets.  What did it all mean?  There were so many vases…

***************

"Hitomi!  Hope you feel better soon!…" 

**"Hey girl, Kari here.  I love you so much; don't scare me like that again, ok?  I can't wait to see you again…"**

_"Miss Kanzaki, I truly hope you can return to classes soon.  You're such I bright, young woman…"_

**"'Tomi…I'm sorry about all the mean things I've said to you…I really do like having you as a sister…"**

_"I hope your arm heals soon.  When will you be back in class?…"_

**"I can't tell you how much I miss not seeing you!  Get well soon!…"**

_"To our darling daughter.  We love you so much…no matter what happens we'll always be there for you…"_

**"Hey Hito!  I miss our daily chats.  Will you be coming back to work soon?…"**

_"I'm so glad you're alright…"_

**"We love you…"**

_"I miss not seeing you…"_

**"Come back soon…"**

_"Life can be scary…but don't give up yet.  You have so much to look forward to!  I'll be there for you if you need to talk…"_

**"I was so worried about you…"**

_"Is there anything I can do to help?…"_

**"Don't be afraid…"**

***************

Tears streamed down Hitomi's face as the kind nurse read letter after letter, note after note.  People really did care about her…She was overwhelmed with guilt, realizing the pain all of her friends, co-workers, and family would have gone through if her suicide had been a success.  Her mind filled with images of sadness.  How could she have been so careless!  The poor girls' entire body was trembling, her physical pain forgotten.  What had she done…

"Now now, sweetheart.  No need to be so upset," the blonde woman soothed, gently rubbing her patients back.  "All of these people love you for who you are…and don't feel guilty.  Everyone feels like giving up on life sometimes."  Hitomi's head jerked up as she heard the nurses' last phrase.  Could it be possible…

"You know?" she asked, her emerald eyes filled with fear.  "You know I tried to…"

"What I know is not important, Hitomi," the woman spoke softly, placing a hand on her patient's shoulder.  "Just don't do it again, alright?  Believe in yourself, and in others.  I have faith in you."  The younger girl sighed loudly, letting go of all her nightmares.  She could do it…she could start again.  Fate had given her one more chance…Hitomi smiled as fresh tears poured down her face.  

"Thank you…thank you for everything," she whispered, drying her eyes.  The nurse gave her a comforting hug and began clearing away the leftover food.  

"Hey, that's what I'm here for," she beamed.  The blonde glanced around the room, giving it a final inspection.  Her eyes settled on a single red rose placed on the counter.  

"Well well, looks like I missed one," she laughed, walking over to it.  Handing the flower to Hitomi, she read the note aloud:

"My heart goes out to you…you don't even know me, you don't even know… 

**_ My heart goes out to you; I'm not sure what I can do to help you now,_**

 But my heart goes out…" 

"Hmmm…" The nurse turned the card over, a puzzled look on her face.  "That's strange, there's no signature.  See?"  Hitomi's eyes peered with curiosity as she took the note into her grasp.  She read the letter again, her hand brushing the ink written words.

"I wonder who it could be…" the girl murmured to herself. 

"Well, whoever it was, it was awfully sweet of them," the nurse said thoughtfully, turning to exit the room.  "If you need anything, Hitomi, just buzz me again, ok?"  The frail woman merely nodded, her mind somewhere else.  

***************

Well????  Ya like?  I hope so!!  Let me know!!

Lyrics by: "Linkin Park" and "Warren Barfield" I don't own them or their songs!

Next part will be released on Monday!  Wait…next and FINAL part!!!  YAY!  God Bless!


	3. Hope Renewed

Here you are everyone!!  I re-edited this story a little bit.  Honestly you might not even recognize it, but I felt that Hitomi was too perky and giggly at the end of the story.  Now, her character is a more to my liking.  Enjoy!

***Esca-lover

***************

Van Fanel wearily climbed the three flights of stairs that lead to his apartment, and unlocked the door.  His right hand fumbled to find the light switch, while he tossed his keys onto the kitchen table.  Seconds later, a tiny bell was heard, followed by a mournful meow.

"Hey Merle…ya miss me?" Van sighed, gently picking up the orange ball of fur.  He cradled the kitten in one arm as he took a half eaten can of cat food from the fridge.  

"Liver and Egg, huh…how can you eat this stuff, kitty?" he laughed softly, filling her dish with the odorous meal.  The feline jumped from his grasp and began devouring the food, meowing gratefully in between bites.  

"Your welcome."  The tired, young man stripped to his boxers as he trudged to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind him.  Stifling a yawn, he glanced at his reflection in the mirror above the sink.  

"Crap…I'll have to shave tomorrow," he muttered under his breath, rubbing the stubble on his chin.  Van managed to wash his face and brush his teeth before stumbling into bed.  

He was about to loose consciousness when the tinkling sounds of the kittens' collar disturbed him.  

"Come on Merle, can't I get some sleep?" he groaned, rolling onto his back.  As if on cue, the feline padded eagerly into Van's room and bounded onto the bed.  She snuggled into his side and purred affectionately as he gently stroked her fur. 

"Ya, ya…I love you too," he smiled.  As he lay there petting the kitten, his thoughts drifted to the day's events.  There had been several car accidents and a few domestic calls, but nothing really serious.  Then again…the girl from the apartment complex… Her case kept rolling around in his mind.  He was drawn to her…not for her appearance, but for her situation. 

"I met someone today, Merle.  She was a suicide case…but she survived.  Hitomi, I think that's her name…" The kitten simply continued purring as she listened to her master's voice.  "I went to visit her in the hospital after my night run, but she was asleep.  I don't know why really…I guess…I guess I just feel like I could help her in some way.  Am I doing the right thing?  What if she doesn't want to hear what I have to say…" The tiny feline meowed her support and cuddled deeper into his waist.  "You're right.  I guess I'll just have to wait and see, huh. Ya know…I hope no one ever finds out about our little chats, kitty.  They'd have me committed," Van grinned as he closed his eyes.  

"Goodnight Merle," he whispered, but the kitten was already fast asleep, dreaming only of her beloved master.

***************

*Around 3pm the next day…* 

Hitomi felt exhausted as she plopped down into the armchair adjacent to her hospital bed.  It had been a busy morning.  Her parents now knew the truth of her accident, and even though they were startled to find out that their only daughter had tried to commit suicide, they had remained calm in her presence and vowed to help her in any way possible.  There had been tears shed, but Hitomi was no longer afraid to face the reality that she may need counseling due to her depression.  In fact, for the sake of her family, she had agreed to meet with the on-staff psychologist before leaving the hospital.  The session was not as horrible as the young woman had expected, and the doctor had high hopes for a full recovery.

Hitomi sighed heavily as she opened the blinds, giving her a view of the parking lot.  Her parents had left to pick up Kohaku from school, but had promised to take her home immediately after.  She was going to live with her family again for a week or two before she tried living on her own again.  Everything was taken care of…so they thought.  

Deep down tiny seeds of doubt were creeping into Hitomi's mind.  What if this doesn't work?  Can I really depend on a psychologist to fix all of my problems?  Will this feeling of self-pity ever truly leave me? What will my friends say when they find out the truth?  

"How can I possibly change my attitude towards life in one day…"she whispered, her eyes fighting back tears.  "What if I never recover…" With that, the girl leaned forward and hid her face in her hand.  She focused all her attention on breathing deeply, steadying her soul.  'No…I can do this,' she thought to herself.  'I can do this…'  Hitomi slowly stood up and scanned the room, searching for something.  Her gaze caught it sitting on the bedside table.  She walked over, gently lifted the rose from its resting place, and raised it to her lips.  The young woman inhaled its sweet scent and felt strength surge through her body.  'People care about me…I can't give up.'

Unexpectedly, a quiet knock echoed through the room.  Hitomi whirled around, startled by the intrusion.  However, what she saw shocked her even more.  There, standing before her, was a tall, strikingly handsome young man dressed in blue paramedics uniform.  She was suddenly very self-conscious about her own appearance, realizing that all she had on was a dirty tank top and old jeans.  'I probably smell terrible…and my breath!  Oh no!  I haven't brushed my teeth yet…'

"Umm, hi," her intruder said nervously, running a hand through his thick mass of raven locks.  "I'm sorry for just barging in like this, I don't have a lot of time and-…"

"Are you sure you have the right room?" Hitomi blurted out, mystified as to who this guy was.

"Oh ya, well…are you Hitomi?"

"Uh-huh." _'Nice one, 'Tomi!'_ she scolded herself_.  'He'll think you're an idiot for sure!'_  The man just smiled and sighed in relief.  

"Good!  You had me worried for a second.  I bet you're wondering why I'm here."  Hitomi nodded.  "Well…as you can see," he gestured to his attire, "I'm a paramedic.  Yesterday, my unit received a call about a young lady who had fallen off a building," he explained quickly.  "That's where you come in.  I guess I just wanted to uhh…well…make sure you were alright."  After grasping the information, Hitomi pursed her lips and cocked her head to the side.

"Do you always visit your patients?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.  The paramedic blushed slightly and looked at the floor.  _'Great,_' he thought to himself_.  'Now she thinks I'm a sicko!'_

"No…not exactly," he stuttered, trying to find the right words.  "Look.  I'm not a weirdo or anything, I just…well…I know what you're going through and I thought I might be able to help," he said softly, hoping for redemption.  

"Oh," was all she managed to get out.  Hitomi sat down on the side of the bed, her mind reeling.  _'He knows what I'm going through?  But how…'_  "I'm sorry…what's your name again?"

"It's Van.  Van Fanel."

"Well Van…I appreciate your concern, but…I'm not so sure you can really understand me…no offense," she said quietly.  Van walked over to the bed slowly and sat down beside her.

"Give me a chance to explain," he spoke gently.  With that said, Van carefully began rolling up the sleeves of his uniform.  The young woman noticed his movement and inched back slightly.

 "Please…you have to trust me, Hitomi.  Hold out your good hand." She looked at him quizzically, confused by his request, but did as she was told.  _'What is he doing? I don't understand…' _Van's gaze never left hers as he gradually placed his upturned wrist into her palm.  Hitomi glanced at his arm, and immediately felt guilt and sympathy.  Guilt for doubting him, and sympathy…well…

All up and down his wrist were deep, red scars.  Her lips began to tremble as she instinctively placed her hand into his.  All of her pains and sorrows…he'd been there before.  He knew what doubt and fear felt like.  This man…this perfect stranger had humbled himself, revealing his most personal weakness all in an attempt to help her understand that she wasn't alone.  There were others like her…  Hitomi's eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Van.  

"I'm so sorry…I didn't realize…I'm just…" she wracked her brain for something to say, but nothing came.  Instead, she felt his hand on her cheek as he wiped the moisture from her eyes.  

"Don't be sad," he whispered.  "It was a long time ago.  But when I saw you yesterday, I knew I had to tell you that everything was going to be alright.  You can fight back and win, I promise."  A slow smile spread over the young woman's face as she shook her head slightly.

"Guy's and their sports analogies," she teased softly, while her eyes conveyed a deep sense of appreciation.  Van saw her admiration and smiled back at her.

"Ya well, what did you expect?" he winked, causing Hitomi to color fiercely.  Van caught her reaction and grinned broadly.  Unfortunately, his beeper went off before he could comment on it.

"Uh-oh," he sighed.  "Looks like I've over stayed my welcome."  Sure enough, his ambulatory unit was paging him.  

"Oh…you're going?" Hitomi questioned quietly.  

"Ya…I'm sorry, I have to leave."  Van stood up and walked towards the door.  The young woman followed him with her eyes, wondering if she'd ever see him again.  _'I hope so…it was really great talking with him…'   _

"Oh…and uhh, Hitomi?"  Her heartbeat sped up.  "Do you think I could call you sometime?  I dunno…maybe take you out for a cup of coffee or something?"  

"Of course…I mean, ya…I'd like that," she blushed, and quickly scribbled her cell phone number onto a piece of scrap paper.  Van's face lit up as he heard her reply, and gratefully accepted the note.

"Great," he smiled.  "I guess I'll see you again soon."  With that he winked again, and stepped into the hall.  Hitomi grinned childishly to herself, when she suddenly spied the red rose on the mattress.  _'Wait…you don't think…_'  The woman fished through her purse and found the note that had been attached to the flower.   

**_My heart goes out to you,_**

**_You don't even know me,_**

**_You don't even know…_**

It had to be him.  She raced to the door and called his name, startling several of the nurses in the hallway.

"VAN!"  He was nowhere in sight.  "Dang it…" Hitomi sank into the armchair and glanced out the window.  If only she had asked him when she had the chance… 

Slowly, a warm feeling filled her heart.  She had awakened sad and depressed, feeling all alone.  Now she felt stronger, and eager to face the world around her.  If she ever felt down, she had confidence that her family and friends would support her to the end.  Van's visit had withered the seeds of doubt and given her hope for the future.  Hitomi smiled as she pictured the handsome stranger who had selflessly aided her in her time of need.  Perhaps love was possible, even for a girl like her…       

Brrrrrrring, brrrrrring! 

Hitomi nearly jumped out of her seat as her cell phone rang.  _'Probably mom and dad,'_ she thought to herself as she leapt for the phone_.  'They are kinda late.'_

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hitomi? Hi, it's me, Van."  Upon hearing his deep voice Hitomi's breath caught in her throat.  "Um, I know I just talked to you, but I wanted to let you know that…it was me, you know."  The young woman didn't quite grasp what he was saying.

"What?  What was you?" she spoke curiously into the receiver.  On the other line, Van cleared his throat and smiled before answering.  

"I'm the one who left you the red rose.  It was me."

Yes…love was definitely possible; Especially for a girl like her.

***************  

THE END

***************

Well girls…what did you think!!!  YAY I finished one!!!!!!  I'm sorry this wasn't up on Monday, I hope you can forgive me…my internet connection wasn't working ::pouts::  But, I still love you all, and hope this ending satisfied you!  For your information, I will be updating my other stories, PROMISE.  In your review, vote for the fic I should update first, ok??  "Whispers of the Mind" or "Ink Stained Hands".  Thank you all soooooo much!  I couldn't have done it without your support!  God Bless!


	4. Closing Thoughts!

Hiya!!  Thank you all so much for reading my story!  I decided to re-edit a few of the sentences in the final chapter, and I thought I'd let you be aware of it!  I really appreciate all the comments on this fic, and I'm glad it identified with some of you.  

Please feel free to check out my other stories, "Whispers of the Mind" and "Ink Stained Hands".  I'd love to hear your critiques!  Give me positive and negative feedback; it will help me become a better writer.  Also, if you'd like me to review your story, simply add the title in your review and I'd be honored to give my opinion.  

Thanks again everyone!  I owe you all a big hug!  *HUGS*  

Origato!

***Esca-lover


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